The 0$ Smile

Hey having a bad day, just put a smile on, that will make it feel better. You see somebody crying, put that smile on, that would make that other person feel so much better. The world is on fire, the sky is falling, the oceans are drying up, but its all good… just as long as I got this smile on my face. Show the world your obedience by putting up a smile Reader, it will make all of your problems go away.

I can’t tell the difference if I’m interacting with humans or am I dealing with living avatars. As a human, I express all types of colorful emotions and expressions. But these emotions don’t mean anything, only coming in last place compared to the comfort of the smile. I must be the new Batman, suffocated in a crowd of Jokers; and they’re all wild. All smiling and watching my next move. I’m a veteran when it comes to this. I’m definitely one of those types that have a bad “habit” of showing the depths of my soul through my facial expressions. I think this was planted when I was a kid, exposed to so much depression yet ridiculed for not putting up a smile for the guests; to entertain and prove to them that I’m a child to such a captivating family. I get tired of these “Jokers” asking me if I’m upset or not feeling good. I’m not.. obviously and I don’t want to talk about it to a simple stranger. They’re not ready for what’s in my brain. Of course you know Reader… its why I write these articles. Its exhausting to make the world comfortable, one smile at a time. Some of us have problems, I can’t join this club.

Here is what I see when I turn on the world news: war conflict, outrageous scandals, suicidal youth, sexual exploitation, etc… Reader how do people find the time to smile. It must be brain washing from the television or the randomly absurd content on YouTube. I think the idea of exposing people to constant trauma and forcing them to smile with obedience is how you make serial killers. Induce people with violent activity to such a degree that it is almost too easy to smile in the situation. Turning the smile into a metaphorical symbol for obedience. There are studies that link the abuse of smiling to an insane persona or maybe people are just a tad too uptight. Taught to always follow the rules and that being a brown nosing tattletale pet will bring them good fortune. Maybe its some peoples’ way of hiding the fear of embarrassment. Their are many people out there that can barely hold it together and the happy smile is the glue to keeping the persona from collapsing. Whatever your malfunction is, you’re contributing to a societal agenda that we can’t afford to be ourselves.

I said that the smile to me is like a badge or a symbol of obedience. Why? Because I come to the assumption that the false perception of constantly painting a perfect happy picture for others is inducing self harming behaviors. Like needing alcohol or drugs to get through our days. Reasons being that most of us live painful lives to such an intense degree that it doesn’t matter to anyone; you still have to swallow all the bullshit… and put a smile on for the show and make that money. And to even make it over this emotional mountain takes a lot of energy, believe it or not. Next you have to find twice the energy from before, just to get through the rest of your day. Some people need a quick fix just to make it through a few hours of torture. Are these people cowards or just misunderstood?

I also fell victimized by the false deception of the smile. Happy faces baiting me and using my emotions against me. Using the common expression to falsify rewards. Making you feel like you did a good deed, when really you took the biggest lost. All these smiling faces but I can’t trust any one of them. The smile catches you off guard and has a bad habit of it stabbing you in the back. The best happy personalities I encounter are the ones that love to joke. They usually don’t have much self-respect and most of the time have little to offer. They joke about some of the most heinous topics; but once they cross the line, it doesn’t matter, its all smiles and jokes. You can’t react in a correct manner because the smile leaves you powerless. Using the smile to hide your soul must have consequences. I feel like the people that use the smile as a “hall pass” for invasive action, have something ugly underneath that persona. Must be the truth if you fight so hard to show everyone that big honest smile.

Reader if you gotten this far, you must relate to me and not afraid to truly be yourself. I don’t smile much, in fact I’m what people call “negative.” I’m not easily amused, and I don’t fake a smile to make another person feel better. It’s not my job or blood given occupation to make you feel less insecure; for whatever unknown diagnosed anxiety disorder you may have secretly induced yourself. I have this surly look on my face because I got a lot of shit on my mind. I don’t live the smiley lifestyle. I feel things and my mood reflects my facial expressions. And when you see someone with a surly look such as mine, don’t persecute them. Don’t out them because they can’t force that smile to make you feel safe. Just mind your business…

Self-expression is not a bad thing and shouldn’t be treated like a disease. We all feel emotions such as: happy, sadness, anger, excitement, etc; because when you combine all of these it creates all of our unique individual personalities. Its all of these feelings combined that gives us humans the unique gift of expressing art in the various ways possible in existence. When we suppress our feelings and emotions, is almost suicide; the killing of our natural programming. We need these emotions to better understand each other, to connect with one another. Without it we kill the purpose of why we exist; to have the freedom to live to the extent of how we see fit.

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